In Law and Extended Family Tension
How many mother-in-law jokes have we heard? The mother-in-law is often the central focus of concern in a couple’s relationship, however, the father-in-law’s relationship with the son or daughter-in-law is just as important. Both parent & grand-parent in-laws are often the source inter generational wisdom and information. If the relationship with the in-laws are tension filled the couple is often impacted. The tension can be overt or covert, real or perceived, or with one or both parents. The reasons are complex and far-reaching, but it ‘s just as destructive to the health of the couple’s relationship. For this reason it’s important for the couples to talk to someone to enhance and preserve all relationships involved.
Tensions around Sex, Sexuality and Intimacy
Constant bickering and arguments often undermine the happy and pleasurable sex life of the couple. A tense sex life can affect the intimacy and connection of the couple, ultimately affecting their bond. There may be issues around trauma or shame affecting one partner, unknown to the other partner. There may even be conflicts around topics like pornography, open relationships, monogamy, bisexuality and other sexual preferences, to name a few. No matter your preference, if both partners are not on board there will be tension and unhappiness. Couples therapy is usually used in this situation to clarify expectations and desires in the couple.
Constant Arguing and Bickering
Do you feel like you’re constantly arguing with your partner? Or even worse arctic silence and indifference? Do you avoid discussions on the simplest topics because you fear the discussion will degenerate into an argument? Most times you don’t even remember what you argued about? Well if you find the intensity of the arguments outweigh the topic(s), it usually means there are an underlying/unresolved issues. Talking to someone can usually assist you in getting to the bottom of the unnecessary arguing and bickering. Identify the underlying causes and put a stop to this relationship saboteur.
Infidelity
Infidelity and cheating, real or perceived, emotional or sexual can be a devastating blow to the injured partner and your relationship. Couples therapy can help the partners begin to identify and heal is the damage before it’s too late. You may never understand or accept the infidelity, but talking to someone will get you to reclaim you relationship.
Improving Communication
Communication is a main vehicle for partners in a relationship to feel heard and understood. Improved communications leads to feelings of validation, reassurance and connectedness, ultimately strengthening the bond between couples. If you sometimes avoid talking to your partner, or you don’t feel heard when you do speak to your partner, there may be communication issues. You can talk to someone and get help to improve communications in your relationship.
Multicultural Issues
Many relationships today are intercultural or interracial: Maybe by way of the individuals in the couple or the in-laws and/or the extended family. Initially most couples are enthusiastic and accepting of their partner’s diversity. Although these relationships are more widely accepted they do face unique challenges at every stage of the relationship. Challenges may be internal, with the individual’s ambivalent feeling or familiar and societal with external pressures. In any event, understanding the landscape of the multicultural/multi ethnic couple is necessary to navigate future challenges. Working with your partner, in the context of couples therapy can help you identify and understand your relationship on a deeper level.
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